So, in my last post, I warned against the use of Mirena. I know, I know....what a tangled web we weave when first we try to avoid to conceive...through artificial means. But, I never said I was a perfect Catholic. So, my husband and I find ourselves a little over half way through a high-risk pregnancy. Oh, and to top everything off - it looks like my placenta might be lying a little low. So, the doctor fears I may have "Placenta Pervia" or whatever it's called...basically that thing that can lead to pre-term labor that I am already at risk for. My doctor's primary hope is to get me to 36 weeks. She fears infection to the baby via the Mirena and a possible rupture of the amniotic sac caused by the Mirena. So, there's that...
But, there's also the unexpected surprise of a new life joining our family much sooner than we had anticipated. LilyBaby is going to be a big sister and she isn't even out of diapers yet. We had so much hope for giving her so much time for a head start - now it is looking like giving her that time is going to be a real challenge. And LilyBaby is the sweetest baby ever (or at least that I've ever encountered). I'm afraid there will be a tendency to push her aside to fulfill the needs of the little one. And, of course, there's the finanicial. Because we had not planned for our new addition, we have not planned financially either. I was hoping to have the option of staying home with a newborn and a four year old in preschool. Now I am faced with hiring a nanny for a 2 year old and a newborn because work is now more of a necessity for me so we can continue to make ends meet. Okay, not make ends meet...to remain in the lifestyle with which we have grown accustomed to for better or worse. Thank God, my mom will still be with us to supervise the nanny and be with her little grandbabies. She just can't do all the work herself.
Emotionally, my husband and I are in a much better place than we were when we first found out the news. And, the good news is that I now know why I was having such a difficult time losing weight (that was my poor attempt at humor btw). Good friend and good support has helped with that. Catholic teaching has also helped a lot. We know we can't change this pregnancy; so we have gotten to the point where we have accepted it. We aren't completely to the welcoming stage, yet, but we do accept that this is God's will for us. We are also at the stage where we are praying for the baby's continued health and good fortune. So far so good. Like I said, I still have so many worries and concerns and I still wake up every morning wondering if this new pregnancy is just a scary dream, but things are getting better. At least my work is supportive but then I guess a Catholic school can't fault a Catholic teacher for having two babies in three years, now, can it?
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Even "good" Catholics can feel some very mixed feelings about unexpected pregnancies. I do hope you continue to find comfort in the Church and in prayer. While it may not seem like it right now, eventually there will be a sign of God's plan for your family in all of this.
Our baby is almost six months old and I am just now feeling like we are handling things well. Regardless of how we did or did not plan a pregnancy, many emotions come with it.
I will pray for your health as well as the baby's. Good luck with all of the plans you must now make. :)
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