Summer Updates

Sometimes I'm really glad that no one reads this blog. It allows me to write a little more personally. This summer has been so sad thus far. With the recent loss of my brother, I find myself turning more and more inward. I'm more angry than I have been and I'm tending to trust less and less. Trust has typically been an issue with me, anyway, and now even more so.

This all took an interesting turn today when my sister-in-law asked about how we can all get along better as a family. I didn't really know how to answer that question that I've been avoiding for going on eight years now. I did tell her that it would probably help to have an airing of the grievances. I don't know, though, if this will actually help. It might make things worse. I do know there have been a lot of hurt feelings all around but, honestly, I'm just too exhausted to care. My husband, who is actually related to these people, shows little interest in resolving the issues that lie beneath...so I don't know if I should bother either. It takes too much energy.

Back to school. I'm finding out that I tend to throw myself in my work when I'm upset or depressed. Work is a good distraction and I'm pretty good at what I do. Oh well...who knows where all this will lead?

More School Politics

So why is it that as soon as I get a little say in what goes on in our department and start enjoying the service I am providing to teachers and students, the fit hits the shan? This year, the most distressing part of the job for me has been the disappearance of one of our teachers. No, he was not kidnapped and no he did not run away. Rather, he was placed on leave after an incident involving his mouth. Problem is, the beloved teacher has never been told one way or another whether he is coming back next year. So guess where this puts me? Yup, right in the middle. I am feeling especially bad this week because I recently learned that we hired his replacement - the woman who was subbing for his classes. Yes, I showed enthusiasm over her hiring because I know she was hoping for it and because I think she is a competant teacher. BUT...now the other teacher finds out and I made to feel like the back-stabber because I supported the hire of the replacement.

I have not yet developed that tough skin that many long-time teachers and administrators boast about. I still care about others' perception of how I do things. I still want to be as fair and as kind as possible. But this job is really hard, politically. Thank God I have decided to stay away from higher-level administration at this point. I don't think I would survive until I learn how to better navigate the game.

A Bunch of This and That...At Work

I haven't written in awhile. Work has been somewhat stressful lately. In the course of about six weeks, we've had lay-offs of teachers, the resignation of a principal and vice-principal, the appointment of both, and a revelation about a co-worker that I considered my friend. There is also the impending news that our current president is also going to resign this year. Good times.

But rather than complain about all of those concerns and troubles, I have decided to use this post to talk about the new curriculum changes that have taken place under my direction. We have decided to re-infuse the Catholic into our curriculum through themes. Our freshman theme deals with community, our sophomore theme with identity formation, our junior theme with actions and convictions, and our senior theme with leadership. All of these themes coincide with our characteristics of Catholic education which we proclaim to follow so I am pleased. It also seems that our high school is taking a more conservative turn with the replacement of all administration. I don't know how to feel about this honestly. There is a part of me that feels that all of the work we have worked towards is about to be thrown into question because the current vice-principal who assigned us the work is now about to leave. The promising news is that the two new administrators are recently former teachers. That could be a plus. I have also heard that both intend to teach a class next year too. What worries be, though, is that these jobs were not open to the public. These appointments were made without anyone given the chance to express interest - inside or outside. These important positions could be with us for many many years so this seems to give me the impression that the time will come for me to leave my school before too long if I seriously want to pursue administrative roles.

In other news, I have given up my seniors for next year. I just don't feel that I do those students justice because I don't have the patience to address them when senioritis sets in. So, I'll be sticking with the juniors - both APs and regulars. In better news, my car is just about paid off. This means I will definitely have more flexibility in work scheduling and this might be my last full-time year. I will hate giving up my department chairmanship but I have heard there are people against me in the position, one of which is supposedly a good friend - as I mentioned above. I will have to tread very carefully in the upcoming year.

If you want to get a sense of just how stressful things are, consider this: coming home to two crying babies is more peaceful and relaxing than being at work. That's just strange.

In the contract for next year - no gossiping and no misrepresenting the school to the public. Again, good times. Good thing I neither go to church nor talk to parents. I don't go to church, btw, because Liliana simply will not cooperate. Sometimes my mom will keep her but other times, we just can't make it. It's really sad actually. Last week, we got to go with just Baby Brian and it was quite invigorating. Hoepfully, things will get better with Lily soon.

Off to have lunch with the in-laws. Again, good times.