Patience with LilyBaby and Prayer

This morning I received an email from work that needed my immediate attention. One of my teachers was giving me a hard time about choosing a Catholic text for our Catholic curriculum. You see, she's a Baptist fundamentalist evangelical who teaches in our Catholic school because the pay is way better than in the Christian schools of our area. She does use her position to sneak in a little Protestant theology whenever she gets a chance. I don't have too big of a problem with it considering we have Protestant students at our school too. What I do have a problem with is when she proselytizes to the students about what's wrong with Catholic teachings. She has never been brought to task for this but is well-known for having these moments of proselytizing every now and then. Anyway the text in question in Willa Cather's Death Comes for the Archbishop. It's a novel about a European missionary who is sent to the southwest United States as Apostolic Bishop of the region. The novel is about his spiritual journey and is really quite beautiful in its natural and symbolic imagery. The novel does a good job in representing the Catholic Church. Though not all of the priests are in-line with Catholic teachings, the Bishop responds lovingly yet firmly. Seeing that our students have never really had a good experience with reading a Catholic text in a Catholic setting, I felt it would be a good addition for AP juniors and I stand by the inclusion. My colleague, on the other hand, is understandably having a difficult time with the text. She wrote me an email questioning its inclusion, its validity, etc. So I had to reply quickly. Did I mention that hers is the job that I currently hold after she was demoted? But that is another story.

Anyway, while attending to this email, LilyBaby decided it was prime time for taking all the books off the book shelf and throwing them onto the floor. She also threw things from her father's desk onto the floor. My husband and I, who were both very busy this morning, began to notice our patience quickly waning in regards to this beautiful little girl. I remember reading that prayer might help in times of patience. Sadly, the only prayer I could come up with is the strength to not throw the little girl onto the couch, forcing her to cry, but getting her out of my way. Somehow, I was able to write the coherent email and get LilyBaby to stop crying all in one fell swoop. And, no, she did not get thrown onto the couch. She was placed there though. Daddy got off to work and I'm left to sit and wonder how I'm going to get my summer work done at the rate I'm at now. You see, many mistake the fact that teachers, because they get a summer break, use that entire break to do very little. Most of us use this break to prepare for the upcoming school year, at least the best of us do. I have always gotten my best planning done during the summer but this summer I'm finding myself very frustrated with taking care of LilyBaby and trying to keep up with the upcoming year. The pressure is especially on because this will be the first year that I am in charge of managing the department.

Last night, on the Catholic radio channel, I heard about the need for prayer. The speaker likened prayer to oxygen for the soul. Essentially, the soul cannot live without prayer. This was a little disconcerting for me...not because I don't believe in what was said but because I often feel at a loss for prayer. I don't know what to say, what to do, and I definitely feel pressed for time. I find I am more comfortable with memorized prayers because they are familiar and I can say them on the go. The really hard prayers are the ones I have to come up with on my own but the ones I probably need the most. My husband is quite the opposite. Raised in the protestant tradition, he is easily able to come up with personal prayer and leaves the memorized prayer for ceremony and Mass. When we were first married, we would pray together at night...but I grew uncomfortable with it so we stopped. I think I recognized the fact that it was too humbling and I didn't like being humbled in front of my husband. Ah, there's pride. I've wanted to start it up again but have been too embarrassed to ask. Of course it doesn't help that we're both exhausted when we go to bed. Now what does all this have to do with new mothering? I have found myself getting better with the whole patience thing though I do still have my moments (like now) where I have to get away from LilyBaby for a few minutes. I guess now would be the time for prayer. A time to pray for patience...a prayer to the Blessed Mother perhaps. A prayer for me to recognize that when LilyBaby cries, it's because she needs me; other things can wait...at least for a little while. After all she does take a nap at 11 and she does like Super Y. The more I remember how fast she's growing up the more I feel bad about getting frustrated with her. Again, more prayer is needed.