Missing Mass

I chose the title of this post on purpose because I have, in fact, been "missing" Mass in both meanings of the term. Since LilyBaby has turned about 15 months, my husband's and my Mass attendance has been pretty poor. I'd say we're probably averaging about once every other week instead of once a week. There are various reasons: one weekend, I was very sick; one weekend LilyBaby was sick. But, mostly, the cause of our poor attendance is LilyBaby's behavior in Church. Of course, it isn't her fault - poor little thing - but her behavior at Church has caused us to miss Mass while actually being in attendance. Unfortunately, this has lead to a decreased motivation to actually get to Mass, knowing that our time there is going to be exhausting (because of LilyBaby) and seemingly unproductive (I know it's not unproductive...but it does feel that way while we're there). So, what is our experience like with LilyBaby? Well, here' s a description. I only share in the hopes that some mother out there will tell me whether this is normal for a toddler or whether my husband and I are spoiling LilyBaby too much or being unreasonable in our demands of her. Well, here it goes...

LilyBaby usually wakes up around 7am on Sunday. We have tried the 8am Mass with her and have found that she gets hungry, mid-way, through and will, hence, get extremely cranky. So, our routine is to get her up, her her fed, get her bathed and dressed, and make it Mass just in time for the 9:30 am service. 11am is nap so 9am is our best chance for any type of active attendance. Did I mention that LilyBaby refuses to nap in public, so 11am Mass is impossible...she would get extremely cranky. We know; we've tried. Anyway, LilyBaby finds it very hard to sit still so she immediately starts trying to walk up and down the area in front of the pew. When Daddy and I try to corral her in, she gets extremely frustrated to the point of expressing her frustration. And, yes, we have seen angelic babies her age who can sit still for several several minutes. Oh, you lucky parents. So, finally, Daddy or I decide that it would be best for other worshippers if one of us takes LilyBaby to the narthex of the Church. And, this is where one or the other of us ends up spending the majority of our time. We did try to leave LilyBaby in the nursery, once, and that did not end well either. She cried and carried on until they called us to come get her. Granted, she was calm for the rest of Mass, but torturing LilyBaby for the purpose of attending Mass just doesn't seem to be in the family spirit of Mass attendance for me.

The best experiences my husband and I have had at Mass are when my mom stays with LilyBaby and we go by ourselves. Then, we really get to focus on what is going on and appreciate our attendance more. But, it still doesn't seem right leaving LilyBaby out of Mass most weekends, so that's where we are. The only saving grace is that I am usually not alone in my walks up and around the narthex. There are usually a couple of other parents of young ones there too.

So, what to do? Do I just try to be patient until she can understand that she needs to sit and be quiet most of the Mass? Do I leave her at home? It seems electing out, myself, isn't doing me or the family any good but then, again, my being at Mass with LilyBaby ends up making me very frustrated with her behavior and ends up ruining my Sunday. Ah, well. I guess this too shall pass....at least until LilyBoy goes through this exact same stage. AAUUGGHH!!!